It's only Tuesday.

I started my new job on Monday. It's only Tuesday, and I'm exhausted. It's kind of sad to say that sitting in an office and staring at a computer can be exhausting, but it really is, especially for someone switching back from play mode. On my first day, I didn't do anything productive. Boss man was too busy to give me anything, as he was also on vacation last week, but he wanted to look over projects before passing them to me. I spent the day in limbo- not working, but too scared to do any fun browsing.

Second day was a little better. I came in to the office with an assigned task. I did not realize that the task was reading 500+ e-mails from a client in response to a subpoena. Most of the work was pretty dry, but there were fun bits too. Our client is a company that does film distribution and advertising. They were responsible for bringing some of the biggest Hollywood flicks to China. It was cool seeing how they did that. Also, a lot of the emails were personal, not business related. I read emails to wish "mommy" HBD, and also plans for bottle service "in da club", all from the same person. Ha. It felt like snooping, even though I knew these e-mails were legit for review. By the end of the day I felt like I knew this person and his colorful private life. The moral of the story here is: keep your personal life and work life separate, or else strange lawyers may end up learning way more than you care to share.

I know it's only been two days and I am still adjusting to being back to work, so I hope it get easier. But part of me is doubting whether big firm life is right for me. The pressure to be productive and churn out billable hours is immensely stressful. People in the office barely speak because they can't waste time that they can be billing. The partner really hounds you if you fall short in the first haft of the month. You get to make up for that AND keep up your current quota in the second half. I guess it all doesn't matter if you really love the work. Although who really loves sifting through 50,000 emails of your client, or writing a memo on survival clauses? Well, the intern I sit next to apparently finds it fascinating. His eyes light up the way mine do when I get my food. O the enthusiasm...

Are all big firms like this? Am I in the right place? I need to get in where I fit in.